Glimmers, Blessons & Bright Sides

My last blog was about how to communicate in a healthy way at the peak of having strong emotions.

I chose the topic because it's one that always comes up eventually, for anyone in any kind of close relationship, romantic or otherwise.

But I received some constructive criticism that many of us need more LIGHT these days than a topic like "Angry Vs. Triggered" conveys. (Though the post itself, we agree, was ultimately positive).

I took the feedback in slowly, and after some reflection was also able to take it it to heart.

Shortly thereafter, this showed up:

And I dare say, it was a bit of an "Aha." Have you heard of glimmers before? Do tell...

The concept of glimmer wasn't new to me, but the term certainly was. And I love both it's definition and that it's in direct opposition to "triggers," which I'm willing to bet each and every one of us have heard more times lately than we may care to recall.

What if instead of just hearing "trigger warning" all the time, we also heard, "glimmer coming!"? So we could be sure to soak up the sun and not miss it.

It may seem odd that triggers tend to hit us like tons of bricks, while glimmers can shimmer on by. Yet it makes perfect sense, given our animal instinct to orient towards danger, first. Hence the suggestion I offer more sparkly titles than scary ones. (Don't worry; I'll always keep it real).

A few days after glimmer showed up on my radar, a friend supplied yet another addition to my growing personal lexicon:

"Blesson." It's a glimmer of a word! Credit to Karen Salmansohn for creating such fun new vernacular, and helping put a recent experience into even better perspective.

(As a bonus, her website is full of loads of freebies on neuroscience based tips on happiness and success!).

If I'd focused only on the negative feedback received for my recent therapeutic writing effort, I might have felt bad, stopped writing, shunned the sharer, and so on.

Instead, by incorporating a new take on my work, I get to share all kinds of new goodies with you. Now THAT's a blesson 🤩

It takes effort to focus on the positive, sometimes. And it's not the be all, end all.

But for those of us with nervous systems wired towards noticing what's wrong, we're already guaranteed to hear alarm bells.

What's not such a given is that we'll take in the good stuff. Yet it is so vitally important. And no one else can do it for you.

Then just like that, I'm quoting that 2000's pop song, "Unwritten:"

It's true though! And I'm grateful for the reminder. Hope you can feel it, too.

Warm as ever,

Tessa

💖🌈☀️

*Some of My Glimmers*

~Dewdrops on blades of grass in the morning ~Crickets chirping on an early summer's eve ~A perfectly ripe Avocado~Breathing in the scent of freshly fallen rain~Stroking the head of a soft beloved pet~

What are some of yours?

Final words from an 80's icon...

💖